


Crown

by maschoi (zaynandlouis)



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Angst, Blow Jobs, Established Relationship, Facials, I suppose, M/M, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Semi-Public Sex, Smut, or established non-relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-05
Updated: 2020-07-05
Packaged: 2021-03-04 18:46:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25091083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zaynandlouis/pseuds/maschoi
Summary: it's funny. it always is, but changkyun's learned not to laugh. it just creates more work for him, deepens the sadness in kihyun's eyes to a point that rectifying requires more effort from changkyun than he's willing to give these days.
Relationships: Im Changkyun | I.M/Yoo Kihyun
Kudos: 17





	Crown

**Author's Note:**

> [Prison - PRBLMS](https://open.spotify.com/track/5ZhyPYSyaAZuKF0uQzzTdF?si=d09yQos6SkCRpBIDB0ndMA) | All so you could warm your head with a fucking crown, you're a fucking disease. 
> 
> tw for what can be taken as emotional abuse/manipulation bc this is Not written as ssc kink, but if it helps it can be read that way i guess?
> 
> this is a love letter to an ex lol i miss being mean to u

"what are you doing?" kihyun asks, voice hushed and eyes wide. 

changkyun looks at him blankly. he pulls his gym shorts down below his ass, letting the band catch on his thighs. 

he's been patient. he's ignored the eyes burning into his back during dance practices, tolerated their gym schedules overlapping too often to be coincidental. 

it's becoming bothersome, though, and if he's honest, changkyun doesn't like to think about kihyun as much as it's all causing him to. he'd rather let kihyun have what he needs and be done with it.

he pulls his dick out of his underwear, watching kihyun drop to his knees and dumbly open his mouth for it. 

it takes a while for kihyun to get him hard, but he works hard for it. he's always so eager. changkyun swallows down a chuckle. he lets a groan vibrate up his throat instead. 

it's funny. it always is, but changkyun's learned not to laugh. it just creates more work for him, deepens the sadness in kihyun's eyes to a point that rectifying requires more effort from changkyun than he's willing to give these days. 

it's easy, kihyun's so easy, so why complicate things? if they were hard, changkyun wouldn't be here. he wouldn't give in to kihyun's needs if it meant more than giving him a dick down his throat. 

kihyun's nose is brushing against the base now, and changkyun wonders if he even notices that he hasn't trimmed lately. he'd never make somebody else blow him without proper grooming, but he knows kihyun doesn't care. it wouldn't really matter if he did, anyways. 

he's looking at his own pubes, but kihyun must think he's looking at him, because he lets out a pathetic whine. 

changkyun makes eye contact and smiles. a singular tear is sliding down kihyun's flushed cheeks, eyes full of more. if changkyun has to look at him, he wants a show. 

the hand he had resting on the back of kihyun's head grabs into dry hair. it's so brittle from all the recent bleaching that there will probably be broken ends stuck to changkyun's sweaty palm by the time he finishes. he makes a mental note to wash his hands when they finish.

kihyun chokes a little at the first thrust. he swallows, tongue feeling thick as he tries his best to flatten it out. he closes his eyes so changkyun won't have to watch them roll back, but he can't help his legs spreading wider. his knees hurt, pressed impossibly hard into the hard concrete below them, but it's nothing compared to the pain of changkyun's hand in his hair. 

it's like he can feel every individual strand pulling away from his scalp. a shiver runs down his back. he rolls his shoulders. 

kihyun thinks of his parents every time his knees hit the ground in front of changkyun's feet. it's sick, but this whole thing is, really.

he will kneel now and pray later, asking for forgiveness from his parents, himself, changkyun, god. he's not sure who he wants forgiveness from anymore, or if he wants it at all. the way his body responds to changkyun is nothing short of worship, the thoughts he thinks about changkyun always teetering on blaspheme. 

changkyun's not the biggest, but he's thick. by kihyun's experience, he's thicker than average, and twice as rough as anyone else kihyun's ever let in his mouth. 

he knows it's coming, but he still feels his stomach knot up when the corners of his mouth burn. if this is just a taste of the burn of hellfire, kihyun has no interest in repenting. 

an image of them ripping, tearing up into some sick, porno joker smile flashes behind his eyelids. he's seen it before, some other time changkyun's let him get on his knees for him, some other time he needed it to be worse than changkyun already makes it. this time, he thinks about blood mixing with the drool that's already leaking from his mouth. his shirt's on, because that's another rule that he's never been excitedly told but still knows, and he wonders how the blood would seeping in to the sweaty fabric. 

changkyun pulls him back to reality with a smack on the cheek. it's not to ground him, changkyun doesn't know where kihyun goes, he doesn't care. he's never told kihyun that he doesn't care, but he's never asked, and kihyun knows him well enough to know if he wanted to know, he would. 

the smack is just his way of telling kihyun he's close. it used to be a slap. it used to echo when they'd do this in the dorm bathroom. kihyun misses those hand prints. he liked the way people looked at him when he didn't cover them up, so he stopped putting makeup over them. changkyun stopped giving them to him in return. 

now, kihyun knows his place. he knows to take what's given to him and be grateful for it. changkyun has made it clear that he owes kihyun none of this. he's made it clear he doesn't need this, doesn't need kihyun, and if anything about their arrangement inconveniences him even the smallest bit, it will come to an end. 

sometimes kihyun thinks of his younger self, thinks of the first night he'd spent in the same dorm as changkyun. he lets images of a barely legal changkyun flash behind his eyelids when it's late in the dorms and he's the only one still awake. that changkyun is so different than the one he imagines tearing the corners of his mouth. that changkyun is, was, so innocent, so malleable. something inside kihyun, his heart, his stomach, he's not sure, hurts when he thinks about how quickly changkyun had done as he said when he'd walked past him coldly and told him to join them in the living room that first night. 

when he goes to sleep with that changkyun in his head, he feels like he's drowning.

they built such a pretty little world together, like a kingdom, and sometimes it seems like the only thing that remains of it is the crown kihyun sees on changkyun's head. kihyun never brings it up. he knows he's not allowed to. he feels half insane, like maybe it never even was like that, maybe he's always just been drowning in changkyun's meanness and made up their past to help himself cope. changkyun has forgotten it, if it is real. 

other than the crown, there are clouds in kihyun's memories and stone in changkyun's heart. shambles of a castle they lived in together, in the past or maybe in another lifetime completely. 

an annoyed grunt reminds kihyun he's already been warned that changkyun is close. he chokes a bit, hurrying to bring a hand to replace his mouth as he pulls back. 

he's too late, had let his mind wander for too long, because changkyun smacks his hand away. kihyun whines and looks up. changkyun's nostrils are flared, jaw clenched. he looks scary. kihyun sets his shoulders back, arms behind his back, chin tipped up.

he watches, panting, eyes zeroing in on changkyun's hand. the tears and sweat in kihyun's eyes make it hard to focus them, but he can tell the movement is jerky, almost desperate. the thought of changkyun desperate makes his stomach roll and he lets his tongue lull out. 

the taste of precum when changkyun smears the head of his dick on his tongue makes kihyun salivate. drool is running out around his tongue, his chin soaking wet. 

a few more stokes of himself and changkyun lets out a growl, deep and guttural like he's been holding it in. kihyun keeps his eyes open, staring at changkyun's as best he can. he wants to see it, to see the pleasure he's caused. he feels it, hitting his tongue and cheek and nose. 

he makes sure changkyun's still looking at him and swallows. 

changkyun laughs, but he's a little breathless. he taps his head on kihyun's tongue, smearing it over his puffy lips. he swears when kihyun leans forward, trying to lick. 

he takes a step back, waiting for his heart beat to slow down. when it does, he walks over to the sinks. wet, lather, rinse. he looks in the mirror and breathes out hard through his nose, watches himself tuck his softening dick back in his underwear, pulling the band of his shorts back up to his hips. 

he turns back to kihyun and sighs.

kihyun's still on his knees, hands still behind his back. he's making figure eights with his hips in a way changkyun recognizes as desperation. changkyun notices the tent in the front of his shorts for the first time. he wonders how bad the bruises on his knees will be. 

a sound like a pained, injured puppy coming from kihyun makes changkyun look back up at his face. it's covered in his cum still. he'd almost think it was pretty if annoyance wasn't itching it's way under his skin at the pleading eyes staring back at him. 

changkyun smiles for the second time since he cornered kihyun, this one smeared with pity. "save you for another day, yeah?" 

kihyun watches as changkyun turns away from him, walking out of the locker room without having to unlock the door. his blood runs cold. 

**Author's Note:**

> [come talk to me on twit](https://twitter.com/1percentis)
> 
> hope u enjoyed! comments r appreciated


End file.
